August 16th, 2010 - Reflection

Nowadays, when I look at pictures of us from the past (beyond a few months ago), I stare to see what we looked like before Luke was diagnosed with leukemia. I would imagine that the look we had was typical of anyone else going through life, with usual ups and downs. Although I haven't studied pictures of us taken after Luke's diagnosis, I am interested to see what they'll show. Many times, we think of the person afflicted with the disease, and focus on that person, but what may escape us sometimes is looking at their loved ones. A picture says a thousand words, they say. They also say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I wonder what our eyes say today. Our eyes have been filled with tears more in the last 3 months, than they have been in the last 10 years. God grants us mercy, and we continue to hope for the best.

When we were in the clinic last Wednesday, I was sitting with Luke as the nurse was infusing the chemo into his port. Luke sat quietly by my side, looking on bravely, and he held my finger, perhaps for comfort. As I looked down at his hand, it reminded me of an image I saw once before, when he was born... a picture of him holding onto this Mommy's finger. As we looked at the picture at that time, we thought, "what a small hand". "His hand will be in ours for some time, and he is so precious, we must take care of him", we thought. As we sat with him in the clinic, and as he held my finger, I couldn't help but be sad for our little Luke, who must endure so much... more than either of us, and more than many of those reading this post.

I want to share that picture of him as a newborn, and the picture I snapped last Wednesday.